It's difficult for change to be something you're willing to embrace; like it's a big commitment to make sure the change is something good for yourself. And that fact is entirely frightening even thinking about it.
We live in a era where there's changes all the damn time; like new apps that make our lives easy or like Pokemon Go, make people's lives more entertaining. But also social media is changing (new ideas or stolen like Copy cat insta Stories becoming a thing from today). Changes in fashion is also huge, making the industry the big statement its known for!
But changes in your own personal life is different, its not like a new improved update for your favourite app, it's a change of routine of how you live. No matter how big the change might sound, it hits you hard even if it's a little tiny change.
A change of heart over something, someone or a hobby, little things could turn into big deals that have you overthinking every tiny thing at night before a sleepless night.
In all honestly I change my opinion of things a lot like music tastes or styles I've seen on trend boards, but if anyone tried to change my mind of important things I am devoted in won't work... I'm a pretty stubborn chick!
But there's been a huge change in my life recently that I was expecting for a while now but it's been pretty unexpected if I'm totally honest.
I finished college in July, thankfully! It was a busy and tiring two years but I've met some really nice people (not made any real real friends) but no one special. One thing was holding me down (not in a negative way) and that was because I already had my best friend with me every step of the new beginning at college. We wanted to do the same course and were buzzing at the fact we would be for the next two years.
Me and my best friend were insanely close and we were devoted in each other as best friends should. We spoke for hours on the phone, stayed up all night and constantly made sure we were okay in life.
I knew I had someone for life! (ha ha)
Once college finished, well we were a little faded (the past few weeks she broke her leg and I was extremely busy with our final project) so we do the same things we could before hand.
But after college was over and the opportunities of seeing her every day was unknown, there became a open lack of conversation between us two. I went out with my friends and her with our other best friend we meet at college.
I obviously felt left out because they went off together when before it would be us three best friends.
The feeling never have I experienced it from my so called best friend before and of course it hurt a lot.
It's easy to admit but I am awful at replying to people as I am never on my phone but in my rare moments I made the effort to ask if she was okay and if I did anything wrong to her ... I got a simple reply back but nothing with heart.
Once you get that after a couple of attempts, the negative feelings aren't going to make you want to try another go so I didn't follow another failed attempt.
Having this negative person out of my life is better, but it hurts that those fun memories from the past four years are none is heart breaking. My friends aren't snakes and I've never detested anyone judging that but having your best friend not care and not try for you just shows you really don't know people as well as you thought.
People like that hit on your soul, and changes you as a person. They attach this negative down hearten atmosphere over you that isn't needed in anyone's life. Being without this key person wasn't something I thought would happen but it was a eye opener and has made a big difference in my life - a good change!
I love that this change hasn't been bad or dreading and having this gap in my heart has been filled by more loving and positive people who deserve that space more than anyone before.
Change is sometimes bad or like in this case good, change is certain. Life will be full of them but that's what makes life fun and exciting ... that's what makes the future interesting!
Embrace the change and make sure your life is filled with positive people whose happiness is your happiness and vice visa; people who think the best for you and want to make sure you're happy and healthy. Make new friends and improve old relationships for a stronger bond, be kind and honest but don't keep trying for people who don't expect it or appreciate it for what it's worth.
And always, my love
x x x x
No comments:
Post a Comment